Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Bad Coaching & Parenting...Are you Guilty of This?

I am not a fan of public shaming but I feel like there are examples where this should be done.  The goal isn't necessarily to single any one individual out but to be more aware how we as coaches, instructors, and even parents should treat our children.  This is not limited to sports by any means. There is a fine line between being firm as an instructor but we should focus on building our kids up. They WILL make mistakes both on and off the mat.  I am not a proponent of babying kids and ignoring their mistakes but it should be a focus to help them LEARN from their mistakes.  Tearing kids down as shown in this video is a terrible way of helping kids learn from their losses.  This kind of behavior isn't tolerated in our gym.  If you find yourself doing this as a coach or a parent, I implore you to reconsider about how this may affect them.

1.  Is this sport or activity for them or is it for YOU?
2. Do you know how difficult this is for your child?
3. Have you yourself tried this activity?
4. Is it more important to YOU or your child to succeed?
5. What are they learning from the experience?

Remember a few things that I can assure you that your child will go through.

1. They do not want to disappoint you (Parents & Coaches)
2. They do not want to fail because who likes to lose?
3. They will experience stress from the above two items
4. They WILL lose some but hopefully they will also win some as well

If you are a parent that is incredibly tough on your children like what is seen in this video I ask that you work on making yourself a better parent.

1. Back OFF!  Let the coaches do their job and TALK to them.  Get feedback to determine what they could have done better.  If you have a coach like this...I recommend finding a new gym.

2. If you can't do the above then you should reconsider taking part in activities such as BJJ practice and especially tournaments.  I have seen parents here and there that simply cannot control themselves while watching their kids roll & compete.  This may not be the sport for you or your child.

You kids are already participating in a very tough sport and they need YOUR support.

If you are a coach and are guilty of treating your students like this then YOU should reconsider working with children or coaching entirely.  It's our job to make these kids better on and off the mats. They need to have their self-esteem built up, not destroyed.

I'll finish this up by saying that as a parent, if you find your kids in an atmosphere that is not healthy for the development of your child IMMEDIATELY get in touch with the coach or head instructor. If the issues cannot be resolved then it's time to look for a better environment.  Not everyone can be a world champion in this sport but this should be fun, a learning experience, and an opportunity to grow.

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